all beings one and all,
experience good fortune only.
May they not fall into harm.
Anguttara Nikaya II, 72
Many people, in heeding the guidance of their souls, find themselves contemplating goals that seem outrageous or unattainable. In the mind's eye, these individuals stand at the edge of a precipice and look out over the abyss at the fruit of their ambition. Some resist the urge to jump, paralyzed by the gap between their current circumstances and the life of their dreams. Others make a leap of faith into the unknown, unsure of what they will encounter but certain that they will gain more in their attempts than they would bowing to self-protective instincts. This leap can be exceedingly difficult for individuals with control issues because the act of embracing uncertainty requires them to trust that surrender will net them the rewards they seek. Yet when you make a leap of faith, believing without a doubt that you will land safely on the other side, you can accomplish almost anything you set out to do.
There have no doubt been times in your life when you chose to go where the universal flow took you. Yet you may encounter instances in which your objectives require you to step outside of the boundaries of your established comfort zone so that you may freely and actively jettison yourself into a new phase of your life. While you may fear what seems to be the inevitable fall, consider that in all likelihood you will find yourself flying. A successful leap of faith requires your attention, as it is the quiet and often indistinct voice of your inner self that will point you toward your ultimate destination. Understand that the leap across the chasm of ambiguity may challenge you in unforeseen ways but you will make it across if you trust yourself.
If your mind and heart resist, you can dampen this resistance by building a bridge of knowledge. The more you know about the leap you are poised to take, the smaller the gap between "here" and "there" will appear to be. Your courageous leap of faith can lead you into uncharted territory, enabling you to build a new, more adventurous life. Though you may anticipate that fear will be your guide on your journey across the abyss, you will likely discover that exhilaration is your constant companion.
Tomorrow will be exciting as I am going shopping with Nadja tomorrow,
will talk to her current employee and offer her a package to stay and
work with me. Then we will go over the books, finances, ect. Then a
break for surfing around 2 and head back to town to do more work in
I am desperately hiring local Costa Rican employees who speak english.
If you know anyone who can help or got any ideas, please email me at
Rest of the week is busy too...We are going to meet with her lawyer on
Wednesday. I am headed to San Jose again. Most fun is Thursday! I am
looking forward to Janis and Veronika's visit. I will write more about
this later as I am very emotional right now. (sigh!)
Lets get back to business...
It is very strange but I could not find a decent chocolate bar that is
edible quality so far...They are either too sweet or grainy...I tried
so many different kinds but this might be a good opportunity to
consider experimenting with chocolate making...It is really hot, so I
am sure it is one of the reasons why it is so hard to get good
quality...but they have really world famous cacao production....Will
investigate this and report back soon...
I can see the ocean from my bed...there is a warm breeze and a nice turning thing on the ceiling...(no idea what it is called, but I am glad I have it, because it is hot)..
I arrived yesterday at 1pm, my 4 bags didn't make it to the small plane from San Jose to Tambor. Per Sansa, the regional airlines, it should be here in 40 minutes. They were supposed to be here by early morning, but everyone tells me I should forget about the time for a while...things here run by Tica time...
The guy who picked me from the airport yesterday is going to get them for me and bring it to my casa...People are nice and friendly here. Two minutes ago, I got my first call from a local friend, Maritzio...It is amazing how happy I felt when that phone rang. He just called to check on me and see if I heard from the luggages...He is the one who taught me how to surf when I was here in August. If my stuff arrives, we will go the beach tomorrow.
I didn't make any arrangements for a place to stay but lucked out on this really nice one bedroom. Apparently, most places are sold out for December and January already because of the holidays and the high season...(good for the business!)... The casa comes with a shower, bathroom, kitchen, a walk in closet (!!!) and a nice veranda with a great big wood table. When saw the hammock, I could not believe my eyes...I came here mostly for love, love of food, love of hammocks and love of papayas...I had my first papaya for lunch today...so I can't complain...
I have a lot of work to do. I am planning to take over by December 1st. I went there this morning and was really upset to see that she is taking her kitchenaid with her...It was listed in the inventory list, so i left mine with Ann, good thing I didn't sell it because they are really expensive and even more expensive here...If I knew I would have brought it with me...Sucks big time...I need the kitchenaid for cakes and cookies most of the time. Anyway, on the bright side, I did have a special bond with my kitchenaid and it would be great to see him again.
Oh, before I forget, whoever comes first, gets a special on the menu named after him or her, or a name that you like. For tickets from the US, call TACA. Their service have been extremely helpful and the seats are very comfortable. You will get to San Jose and then take SANSA (regional airlines) to Tambor.... That's it...directions to heaven....
Now, got to go and open a bank account...Wish me luck! Adios!
Each day gets better. Talking to friends on the phone and getting emails helps so much. I got my luggage yesterday and unpacked most of my stuff. It is so nice to see my old stuff...I thought I had no attachments to things, but scratch that...I love my life, I love San Francisco, I love my friends and family. Sera made a very good point that I am not here forever. She even said she never expected me to be here for a long time. I am here on a bootcamp...I love bootcamps. It feels much better and lighter to think this is an adventure, not a permanent stop. As Lane said, the sooner I start doing things I like, the better I will feel...So true...I can't relax on vacations, I need to do things, like work or run around, just keep occupied...Sleeping under the sun is not my thing, but I do enjoy an afternoon nap on the hammock.
I got the bank account and they got me a debit card in one day...Now I am in Cobano, the big town and found high speed internet here...It is great....Will try to download some pictures....
"don't cry, it's only music,"
someone's voice is saying.
"no one you love is dying."
it's only music. and it was only spring,
the world's unreasoning body
run amok, like a saint's, with glory,
that overwhelmed a young girl
into unreasoning sadness.
"crazy," she told herself,
"i should be dancing with happiness."
but it happened again. it happens
when we make bottomless love--
there follows a bottomless sadness
which is not despair
but its nameless opposite.
it has nothing to do with the passing of time.
it's not about loss. it's about
two seemingly parallel lines
suddenly coming together
inside us, in some place
that is still wilderness.