Ella's Bars

I have been buying way too many GoMacro Peanut Butter Chocolate bars and I had to come up with my own recipe to save some money and trips to the supermarket. Here it is, mostly using the same ingredients as the bars but I switched to sunflower seed butter and almonds instead of peanuts. Peanuts are tricky to digest and hard to find raw and good quality. They tend to have mold too so not very sexy:)

If you haven't tried sunflower seed butter, it is a great alternative. Instead of cursing to my gestational diabetes daily, now I eat these bars and still feel satisfied and keep my sugars under control! Go baby Ella!!! I got all the nutrition info for this recipe down below as well, so you are all set!

They are high in protein and low in sugar and you can even try with cacao nibs instead of dark chocolate chips for less sugar!

Ella's Bars, makes 16, 59 gr bars.

16 oz sunflower seed butter (Once Again Organic Sunflower Seed butter, one jar)

1 cup of almonds

2 tablespoons of brown rice syrup

3 brown rice cakes

2 packets (46 gr) of Garden of Life, protein powder, vanilla

3/4 cup dark chocolate chips

1 tsp vanilla
1/8 tsp salt

1. Chop almonds to chunky pieces either by knife or food processor.
2. Do the same with rice cakes with a few pulses and be careful not to powderize the cakes, you want them crispy:)
3. Mix the almonds, rice cakes, protein powder, chocolate chips and salt in a big mixing bowl. This is easiest with my hands.
4. Add the sunflower seed butter, rice syrup and vanilla to the bowl. Mix with a wooden spoon until all incorporated and sticky.

Line a 9X13 baking pan with parchment paper and press the mixture into the pan quite firmly. Cover and place in the fridge for a few hours before cutting it into bars.

Once cold, cut into as many pieces as you like.  We like them frozen and keep them in the freezer. They don't stay there long though:)

Enjoy!!!

Trying to breath in a nightmare....

It was around 3 p.m., exhausted from being with Kael all day, packing and getting ready to move and getting ready for the baby...It is a lot of work. I opened the patio door and left Kael to play by himself outside. It is fenced of course. My phone was out of battery and I plugged it into the outlet in the kitchen. I got a message and sat momentarily on the tiny IKEA stool and took a breath. In that moment I heard a baby boy cry. I jumped out my seat, the crying noise was getting weaker and weaker and immediately in my mind they are taking him. Roberto has been warning me about being careful about child abduction and watching Kael 24/7, but we also have a dog and I was just there two minutes ago. I rushed to the patio and of course Kael was not there. It is hard to explain the first couple of breaths, but most moms out there, I am sure they know what that feels like.

End of life, period. Nothing is more real in that moment and though I am very pregnant and can barely move fast, I ran back inside the house first crying Kael and he was not there. The apartment door was closed but it was not locked, totally my mistake as he has left the apartment a few times before. I could not find him outside and went back in to reach to my phone to dial 911. The phone was almost dead, and I went back to the bedroom and there he was, the same joy I had when he was born into my arms, reuniting with his beauty and I hugged him real tight- of course he wanted to leave me and play with his trains.

I will never forget this day and the times that I am resentful for one or the other reason, for not having enough time, for not being a good mama, for not doing everything on my to do list. It takes only seconds to lose the most important being in your life. Guaranteed. I hope I learned my lesson. Tomorrow is another day....May it be filled with gratitude and love.

Easy pregnancy huh?

Well, just a few hours after I wrote my last post, I got hit with a lot of pain on my pelvis. It freaked me out! I was worried about pre-term labor, only at 25 weeks or something seriously wrong with the baby or an infection of some kind...The easy pregnancy was until last saturday! This week was like hell, mostly in bed and barely moving. Lots of dark chocolate as a remedy and thank god my blood sugar did not spike up with all this stress and sweets! I went to see a chiropractor recommended by my midwife and she said this is pretty common especially with second babies and carrying a giant toddler all the time! After a week of rest, I am really ready to get this house baby ready! Nesting time begins for this mama and first a toddler bed for my first baby who has been kicked out from our bed finally after 2 years!

What is baking?

There is a nice surprise baking in the oven! Guess what? I am pregnant with a baby girl due in June. Of course, we are beyond excited and so not ready! If I knew what life would be like with a two year old, I am not sure if I could be pregnant again. But nature has its tricks and I got pregnant before I saw this side of the parenthood and now we are about to be a family of 5!

This pregnancy does not feel like pregnancy at all, other than I am diagnosed with diabetes, and can't have all the luxury items of a pregnant mama. I also have to the home test 4 times a day, which is rather boring and super annoying. Results are so far so good though.  I am doing ok, if I don't eat chocolate for dinner and late night snack-which has happened, what can I say, I chocoholic is always a chocoholic. Unfortunately, not much is baking in the house. It is so strange and weird not to have sweets around or try new recipes. I do wish this will go away after the pregnancy, but in the meantime I have developed a new sense of love for all the diabetics in the world-which is a very lonely world, especially in the aisles of healthy grocery stores.

I found this treat recipe for Coconut Bounty Bars, and it worked really well. We kept them in the freezer and it tastes great as a frozen dessert. So try it out if you are also working on low sugar recipes. Everyone in the family loved it.

I am due for some baby belly photos, they are on the way, I promise:)

I <3 Homemade Chocolate and my Vitamix

Here is a super delicious and healthy chocolate recipe. All you need is a Vitamix. If you are like me, you know I love to make my own changes everytime to recipes, try adding pistachios and rose petals for a Turkish flair. Cardamom and espresso will also make this chocolate heavenly!

Speaking of Vitamix, I absolutely love Vitamix, the blender and the company. I got mine a few years ago and it started to make a weird-rather loud noise. I called up customer service and the person was super interested in our cooking adventures to daily inspirations, she was probably trying to figure out if we were blending knives and forks:) After listening to the motor, she sent me a return label, all free of charge and it will be returned within two weeks. Two weeks without smoothies, chocolate or luscious soups...It sounds like eternity.

You are not alone Turkey!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=m0YcEUHxTuY

21 Herbs for Mamas

Great resource for our future garden!

http://www.terawarner.com/blog/2013/05/21-herbs-every-mother-should-plant/

Best strawberry milkshake ever!!

We made this smoothie on the run this morning and it is divine. I had to write down the ingredients, because it was simple but I am not to be trusted to duplicate recipes. Both Kael and Roberto approves!

Makes 1 large smoothie or 2 smaller glasses.

7 really amazing strawberries, not frozen
2 ice cubes
1 frozen banana
1 cup almond milk
1/3 cup cashews
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Photos from Cameron Highlands.

Enjoy!!!

On parenting

When your children behave,
give them respect and kindness.
When your children misbehave,
give them respect and kindness.

When they are hateful,
love them.
When they betray your trust,
trust them.

Believe this difficult truth:
Showing respect in the face of disrespect,
love in the face of hate,
trust is the face of betrayal,
and serenity in the face of turmoil,
will teach your children more
than all the moral lectures
by all the preachers
since the dawn of time.

The Parents' Tao Te Ching


Now that I have baby, there is no running from the need from parenting. Making those decisions on parenting is hard-core for me! Life is not only about me...sigh...I have a vague idea that discipline is good for the child, so I don't want to cut him short of that experience. On the other hand, this little boy is so free and pure, discipline sounds more like containing him in my own bubble, which will take him years to free himself again to find his freedom. Also it does not mean that he can walk all over me and do whatever he pleases, I don't think that is freedom, but rather selfishness...

I don't think we know what works for every child for teaching without fear, or parenting without imposing your own values. No one has the answer. Something might work for a family but it does not guarantee that it will work for my kid. Also we never know if it really works because we can only know a little of the inside world of a child as an outsider.

I believe freedom, creativity and expressing your needs are the cores of our humanness (!) I can't just start giving time-outs or punishments because so and so says so...I need to embrace the idea, feel it, live it and believe it in order to apply it to myself and then to my child. I have come a long way on being flexible and open, as a vegetarian I am feeding fish to my child. I also know that I know little about parenting so all these ideas might change overnight! Don't take me so serious please:)

One can say he is playing with his food. I get out of control when he messes the already super messy house and I do raise my voice hoping that he will understand mommy is upset with what he has done. Furthermore, that he will connect the dots that mommy does not want him to do that again. I don't know if our brain is programmed to make mommy happy. It is like that for me now but only after years of rebellion, I now know how precious my parents are.

I also know and believe that kids learn by example not by preaching. That is why I love that poem I posted on top of this blog. That is the model I want to be for my child. I don't want to enforce. I want to show and share. Now, he is running after our dog with a stick in his hand and hitting him hard. Poor Leroy Brown. That is of course not something we will not allow. But I am clueless how to deal with this, without making it a "I am your mom and I said so" attitude. I am also not going to have an adult conversation with a 15 month old child and expect him to take me serious or else:))

Great reading on Elena's blog about this...http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/04/08/on-soft-discipline/

Inspiration Day

Dandelions are not the easiest greens to work with. They are extremely good for you (especially your liver) but their taste is bitter and they are hard to chew raw. This salad is for the goddesses, both pretty and packed with power ingredients. I wish I could say we eat like this everyday. I don't have an army of employees in the kitchen and now it is a rare treat to take my time and do something special in the kitchen. I am very much happy with steamed veggies and lots of green salads rest of the time. Who knew washing your veggies take so much time and effort, but it is one task I can not ignore. However, laundry piles and vacuuming habits of our household would scare pinterest lovers:)

Check out this beautiful salad recipe here.

I also have a great dandelion pesto recipe from Cafe Buenna Tierra, you should also give that a try. Don't pass this amazing weed next time you see it at the farmer's market.

April Momentum

What a wonderful insight from the Mysticmama! for April. The challenge is on, especially for me because I have been in the negativity longer than I would have liked. Time to shift my focus on shed some layers. Who is in with me?

"This is a highly creative and productive time. The challenge will be to stay directed and to have the discipline to move yourself out of situations and away from negativity that you would rather not be gathering momentum around. This will take discernment, the use of good boundaries and a commitment to some truth telling about what serves you and what does not."

Image is from Gretchen Del Rio's Art Blog.

Sunshine in a Jar

This is a perfect recipe that you should try! It is from the Raw Food Rehab a great community site with lots of information and recipes. The best part is you can prepare the jar ahead of time and just blend in the morning as a first thing. Starting your day with a super green smoothie will brighten any day and uplift your mood. You will feel the love in the air too!!!

Ingredients:
1 cup spinach, fresh
1 cup collards, fresh (swiss chard or kale would also work)
3-4oranges, fresh squeezed (grapefruit, tangerine or mandarinas would work too)
half a sweet pineapple (about 3-4 Cups)

Wheatgrass powder* optional

Directions:
Freshly squeeze the oranges and use the juice to blend with the spinach and collard greens. Chop a fresh pineapple and add to blender. If you want this recipe cold, add 6-8 ice cubes or use frozen pineapple.

If you have wheatgrass, or the powder it blends perfect with this recipe with the additional benefits.

How do you know if a pineapple is ripe? First smell it, it has to have a sweet fragrance. Second, inspect it all around, if it is very green and hard, it is picked too early, it will take some time to ripen. If it is too soft on some spots, it might be rotten inside, so better don't get those ones.

Now if you want to get serious about picking the perfect pineapple, here is all you need to know:

http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-a-Pineapple-Is-Ripe

sample time

Motherhood Diaries

It is really interesting to see how being a mother made me even more
sensitive. I think I take things even more personal than ever before.
I hope to gain some thick neck qualities as I go down this road but so
far I am feeling melancholy over these pre-baby moments:)

1. Washing my hair as I wish and having time to dry/style it. Now
showers take less than 5 minutes and showering with the baby is a very
slippery experience that freaks me out.
2. Having time to contemplate, think, meditate. This might be a good
thing in the long run as I practice fast decision making, with many
mistakes on the way but I am gaining experience instead of thinking
for days over the next meal to next big trip.
3. Regular yoga practice, I see yoga-glo as my remedy.
4. Running....sigh...just sigh...
5. Cooking religiously, at least with 3-4 different spices, two-three
dishes, I eat mostly baby food with rice and of course sweets and
chocolate. Baby drinks smoothies, I have my coffee. I really don't
know why I can not get to make smoothies for three, but always two.
6. Having an earring....in my "past" opinion, a girl without an
earing, is missing out feminine power:)
7. Time with friends
8. Undivided attention from my husband

I think there is more but does it really matter at this point, maybe
this is the time to look into what matters the most..Sure I do want to
feel feminine and sexy but I like to believe that having an earring by
no means make me any more feminine than carring a child on my arms. It
is crazy how my perspective changed. So now without having to
experience any different thing, I see the value of being open and
flexible on my other "must haves".....I just have to step out of the
picture and see the other side without judgement. Nothing is perfect
and that is the real perfection of life. The ever growing love between
my baby and having a family by no means is an easy job and a pink love
story. There are many shades but so far it keeps getting better
through communication and honesty. I am so happy that my life is as
real as it gets, we don't have much money but we do live next to a
farm in a city and I get to do laundry everyday, wash dirty diapers
and wake up next to the most beautiful smells in the world with little
feet on my face.

That's a lot of venting on this perfect friday date night! Thanks for reading!

Worth watching...

These days I am spending way too much time worrying about my next job.
It is an itching uncomfortable feeling, it must be the price of living
in the USA again. The opportunities seem endless, yet the competition
is fierce and starting something on my own is very very expensive.

These two talks have been eye opening to me

http://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_philosophy_of_success.html

this one especially about how we relate to material goods, money is not evil...

http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html

and this one about women's role in the working world, and it does make
me feel I want to be part of her team...not necessarily at Facebook
but I like the way she thinks. It is interesting that both my
grandmother and mother made it all the way up in their careers,
whereas I choose to stay at home and wash cloth diapers...Now I know
why... I had nothing fun to go back to since the baby's birth.

And news on the baby ground, we are at month 11...Wow, he is the most
beautiful creature I have ever seen and the most challenging. Great
teacher and a great gift. He is walking, laughing, dancing. He makes
me the happiest person one minute, the most frustrated and angry the
next moment. Most of all, he makes me love my mother so much more than
I ever thought I could, also all the other moms of the world, that
would include your mom and you if you are one...

Updateeeeeees!

I have been trying to update my blog maybe like ten times a day and always and always something comes up. Mostly with the baby. I tried to post about his food, I tried to post recipes for new vegan cookies, I tried to post about motherhood blues as well as happy proud moments. But it is just not happening. There is nothing I can do other than accept the impossible and sigh on the other moms' blogs that I get to read here and there. Though this looks like a post already in place! Yay, that makes me happy! As I write this Kael has a napkin in his hand, trying to go in circles around the swivel chair. I am holding him with one hand and trying to type and he is working hard to eat the napkin. Ok, I saved the napkin from his hands. It's funny of course, if I can remember to take a breath and laugh at this. Memories of managing Organico with 11 employees feels piece of cake compared to trying to get a free minute with this little one, spinach-avocado loaded, 95% breastfed love child.

Green Juice-City Style

We don't have a juicer in our house in Istanbul, but that did not stop me
from making my beloved green juices. The hardcore fans of raw food and juicing
may not approve my friend Maria's method, but I love "love" how easy to make
these juices. I try to drink a liter a day, it helps with milk production
and I make sure to get my nutrients.

1 bunch of parsley
1 inch bulb of ginger
1 apple, with the skin on, no seeds
1 lemon, without the skin, with the white part, seeded
1 cup of water or orange juice.

I prep everything into the blender, add the water and blend on high speed
and then use a nut bag, or a fine cheese cloth and squeeze the juice out of
it. Done!

Super fast, hence the city style and much easier to prep and clean.

You can add all your favorite herbs, mint, cilantro, arugula or other
greens like chard, kale or spinach. I also tried it with kiwi for added
vitamin C and it all worked perfect.

Back home with plus one!

It's been a month, we are in Istanbul. It is a big change from our life in Costa Rica and it is fantastic to be with family other than that i haven't decided how I feel about these bigger than me changes...Lets just say it is different for now.

I love being a mother, I love my baby boy and I love my mother even more after being a mother. It is crazy how my life changed so fast, I think I am still trying to digest the situation, hence diarrea for almost three weeks! It is also very refreshing to know that I can never take anything granted, great news for unpleasant stuff, like being away from my love. I am convinced that life is all about change and how we flow with it. Easy to say but putting it to day to day practice with a smile on my face is for sure my life's work.

Everyday I am reminded of showing gratitude to what I have and I rejoice getting a chance to practice the joy of being alive. Being with family is a great opportunity, as well as being with a baby, as there is nothing more challenging than those two for me right now. Family is family, you know what I mean, they know your buttons well, and the baby, hum, I am learning about that, apparently, my baby also came fully equipped with keys to all my buttons as well.  He does not understand either Turkish or Spanish or English. That sucks, for me! I demand that he understands like our wonderful dog Leroy Brown, what is wrong with this little guy. I just want him to still quiet and wait for me so I can answer emails and check my Facebook. Silly me. But you might think I have lost my mind, well not yet, but almost, if I haven't decided to be in Costa Rica by myself with the baby for any longer. And don't get me wrong, Kael is not fussy or difficult. He is very happy, content and most of the time quiet. Still, this mama had no clue of what real babies are all about:) I am not complaining, it is really fun to be learning again and it is a relief to have family support. I am grateful to be here and I soak in every minute of it.

Right now I am practicing to remember that my baby needs me and I want to be present with him all the time. This is tough for me because it is like good meditation all the time, it doesn't happen that easy. Most of the time during meditation I fly away, losing the focus and turn into day dreaming or active to do list making. Baby is like that too, he is here but I still fly away to millions of other things that I used to think are urgent in my self centered world. It takes time I guess, or I hope!, because so far, I am not 100% present with the baby. I am trying though. And I ask help from everyone around me to remind me if I drift away too long to something that is not as important as connecting with the baby. It is so precious to hold him and to smell him, to feel his skin, once I am present with him in that moment, it is like heaven. I want to breath in many many many moments like this forever, there is nothing sweeter that I have tasted or lived in my life as his feather soft skin and breath touches on my skin and as I hear his little heart beat against my ear. This is my welcome to motherhood blog update, well its been more than six months but better late than never.

Cranberry Orange Muffins

In the middle of feeding the baby, changing diapers and trying to have conversations with my mom and husband, I could not help but not share this recipe. These cranberry muffins are delicious.

The recipe is from Post Punk Kitchen, and followed it exactly. It made 12 muffins! Don't miss these!

instant inspiration

http://stay-ocean-minded.tumblr.com/

Wow!!!