Friday, November 16, 2012

Motherhood Diaries

It is really interesting to see how being a mother made me even more
sensitive. I think I take things even more personal than ever before.
I hope to gain some thick neck qualities as I go down this road but so
far I am feeling melancholy over these pre-baby moments:)

1. Washing my hair as I wish and having time to dry/style it. Now
showers take less than 5 minutes and showering with the baby is a very
slippery experience that freaks me out.
2. Having time to contemplate, think, meditate. This might be a good
thing in the long run as I practice fast decision making, with many
mistakes on the way but I am gaining experience instead of thinking
for days over the next meal to next big trip.
3. Regular yoga practice, I see yoga-glo as my remedy.
4. Running....sigh...just sigh...
5. Cooking religiously, at least with 3-4 different spices, two-three
dishes, I eat mostly baby food with rice and of course sweets and
chocolate. Baby drinks smoothies, I have my coffee. I really don't
know why I can not get to make smoothies for three, but always two.
6. Having an my "past" opinion, a girl without an
earing, is missing out feminine power:)
7. Time with friends
8. Undivided attention from my husband

I think there is more but does it really matter at this point, maybe
this is the time to look into what matters the most..Sure I do want to
feel feminine and sexy but I like to believe that having an earring by
no means make me any more feminine than carring a child on my arms. It
is crazy how my perspective changed. So now without having to
experience any different thing, I see the value of being open and
flexible on my other "must haves".....I just have to step out of the
picture and see the other side without judgement. Nothing is perfect
and that is the real perfection of life. The ever growing love between
my baby and having a family by no means is an easy job and a pink love
story. There are many shades but so far it keeps getting better
through communication and honesty. I am so happy that my life is as
real as it gets, we don't have much money but we do live next to a
farm in a city and I get to do laundry everyday, wash dirty diapers
and wake up next to the most beautiful smells in the world with little
feet on my face.

That's a lot of venting on this perfect friday date night! Thanks for reading!

Worth watching...

These days I am spending way too much time worrying about my next job.
It is an itching uncomfortable feeling, it must be the price of living
in the USA again. The opportunities seem endless, yet the competition
is fierce and starting something on my own is very very expensive.

These two talks have been eye opening to me

this one especially about how we relate to material goods, money is not evil...

and this one about women's role in the working world, and it does make
me feel I want to be part of her team...not necessarily at Facebook
but I like the way she thinks. It is interesting that both my
grandmother and mother made it all the way up in their careers,
whereas I choose to stay at home and wash cloth diapers...Now I know
why... I had nothing fun to go back to since the baby's birth.

And news on the baby ground, we are at month 11...Wow, he is the most
beautiful creature I have ever seen and the most challenging. Great
teacher and a great gift. He is walking, laughing, dancing. He makes
me the happiest person one minute, the most frustrated and angry the
next moment. Most of all, he makes me love my mother so much more than
I ever thought I could, also all the other moms of the world, that
would include your mom and you if you are one...

Friday, September 21, 2012


I have been trying to update my blog maybe like ten times a day and always and always something comes up. Mostly with the baby. I tried to post about his food, I tried to post recipes for new vegan cookies, I tried to post about motherhood blues as well as happy proud moments. But it is just not happening. There is nothing I can do other than accept the impossible and sigh on the other moms' blogs that I get to read here and there. Though this looks like a post already in place! Yay, that makes me happy! As I write this Kael has a napkin in his hand, trying to go in circles around the swivel chair. I am holding him with one hand and trying to type and he is working hard to eat the napkin. Ok, I saved the napkin from his hands. It's funny of course, if I can remember to take a breath and laugh at this. Memories of managing Organico with 11 employees feels piece of cake compared to trying to get a free minute with this little one, spinach-avocado loaded, 95% breastfed love child.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Green Juice-City Style

We don't have a juicer in our house in Istanbul, but that did not stop me
from making my beloved green juices. The hardcore fans of raw food and juicing
may not approve my friend Maria's method, but I love "love" how easy to make
these juices. I try to drink a liter a day, it helps with milk production
and I make sure to get my nutrients.

1 bunch of parsley
1 inch bulb of ginger
1 apple, with the skin on, no seeds
1 lemon, without the skin, with the white part, seeded
1 cup of water or orange juice.

I prep everything into the blender, add the water and blend on high speed
and then use a nut bag, or a fine cheese cloth and squeeze the juice out of
it. Done!

Super fast, hence the city style and much easier to prep and clean.

You can add all your favorite herbs, mint, cilantro, arugula or other
greens like chard, kale or spinach. I also tried it with kiwi for added
vitamin C and it all worked perfect.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Back home with plus one!

It's been a month, we are in Istanbul. It is a big change from our life in Costa Rica and it is fantastic to be with family other than that i haven't decided how I feel about these bigger than me changes...Lets just say it is different for now.

I love being a mother, I love my baby boy and I love my mother even more after being a mother. It is crazy how my life changed so fast, I think I am still trying to digest the situation, hence diarrea for almost three weeks! It is also very refreshing to know that I can never take anything granted, great news for unpleasant stuff, like being away from my love. I am convinced that life is all about change and how we flow with it. Easy to say but putting it to day to day practice with a smile on my face is for sure my life's work.

Everyday I am reminded of showing gratitude to what I have and I rejoice getting a chance to practice the joy of being alive. Being with family is a great opportunity, as well as being with a baby, as there is nothing more challenging than those two for me right now. Family is family, you know what I mean, they know your buttons well, and the baby, hum, I am learning about that, apparently, my baby also came fully equipped with keys to all my buttons as well.  He does not understand either Turkish or Spanish or English. That sucks, for me! I demand that he understands like our wonderful dog Leroy Brown, what is wrong with this little guy. I just want him to still quiet and wait for me so I can answer emails and check my Facebook. Silly me. But you might think I have lost my mind, well not yet, but almost, if I haven't decided to be in Costa Rica by myself with the baby for any longer. And don't get me wrong, Kael is not fussy or difficult. He is very happy, content and most of the time quiet. Still, this mama had no clue of what real babies are all about:) I am not complaining, it is really fun to be learning again and it is a relief to have family support. I am grateful to be here and I soak in every minute of it.

Right now I am practicing to remember that my baby needs me and I want to be present with him all the time. This is tough for me because it is like good meditation all the time, it doesn't happen that easy. Most of the time during meditation I fly away, losing the focus and turn into day dreaming or active to do list making. Baby is like that too, he is here but I still fly away to millions of other things that I used to think are urgent in my self centered world. It takes time I guess, or I hope!, because so far, I am not 100% present with the baby. I am trying though. And I ask help from everyone around me to remind me if I drift away too long to something that is not as important as connecting with the baby. It is so precious to hold him and to smell him, to feel his skin, once I am present with him in that moment, it is like heaven. I want to breath in many many many moments like this forever, there is nothing sweeter that I have tasted or lived in my life as his feather soft skin and breath touches on my skin and as I hear his little heart beat against my ear. This is my welcome to motherhood blog update, well its been more than six months but better late than never.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Cranberry Orange Muffins

In the middle of feeding the baby, changing diapers and trying to have conversations with my mom and husband, I could not help but not share this recipe. These cranberry muffins are delicious.

The recipe is from Post Punk Kitchen, and followed it exactly. It made 12 muffins! Don't miss these!